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Wild Hearted World

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What is it like to date when you travel full time?

in Blog, Love on 09/13/17

How are you supposed to cross paths and connect with someone when you feel like you’re constantly going in the opposite direction of everyone you meet?

I’ve been asking myself this a lot over the past few months while I’ve been darting between Malaysia, Vietnam, Laos, Indonesia, Cambodia, Singapore & Australia.  You see, I’m 33 and am surrounded by people telling me it’s time to settle down and while that would be nice, My version of settle down is very different to societies ‘normal’ standard of married, kids and mortgage… But I never was ‘normal’, I want to meet the love of my life and keep travelling the world while we run our businesses from the world, chase our dreams and leave a huge positive impact on this planet.

Before I left on this trip, I wrote an article titled ‘Would you use Tinder when you Travel?’, I was highlighting all of my perceptions, What I thought the pros and cons of the app were and how I wanted to test it out in the field… So I did, and this is what happened.

I spent the first month in Malaysia and was travelling with a friend the first two weeks which meant I didn’t touch it (Ok, Maybe I had a mindless swipefest when she wasn’t looking).

Fast forward to the next two weeks when I was back travelling solo and started to use it. I wasn’t coming across anyone I was attracted to and was chatting about this to a girl I met on a day trip. She was travelling for work, in a relationship and had never had the joy of using a dating app, So being the ‘good girl’ that I am, I let her swipe to her hearts content under my profile to see what all the fuss was about… Maybe she would have more luck than me??? Nope, But we did have a good laugh!

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For too long I put others needs in front of mine and thought I was being selfish if I said No and took time out for myself… I LOVE helping people and being of service, But how are you supposed to help them if you're not filling yourself with LOVE first? ✨💜🌎 Are you treating yourself with the kindness you pour into others?

A post shared by Dana Brown | Australia (@wildheartedworld) on Aug 1, 2017 at 1:37am PDT

Here I am looking for the love of my life in Borneo

This is about the time where you get over the app and delete it… Except, I had 10 days of work lined up in Vietnam and Laos, but again, On this trip I am grouped with ten other people and the conversation turns to Tinder and who is around us… All of these people in relationships are curious as to how it works, so I reinstall it so they can see for themselves … C’mon guys, This is my love life you’re playing with here… Sure, Have a go on my profile and then move back on to your relationship while you leave me here solo again… Not bitter!

So far no luck and I am six weeks into this trip, Universe, send me some content please… And by content I mean tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, driven, kind, funny, location independent, successful and strong.

Well, The universe listened and BAM… In enters my American boy (Queue Estelle & Kanye, Will you be my American boy?) in Vientiane who seems to be all of these things except location independent (although he is travelling indefinitely) and has blond hair, but I let that slide because hey, I have blond hair, That would mean I am being blondist… Is that a thing?

I know, I know, You want all the juicy details about said American boy, so here goes (Name withheld, Because, Respect)…

We chat briefly on Tinder and set up a date for the following day, I am supposed to meet him at a café at 10am for coffee and then ride off (into the sunset) on his motorbike (Sounds legit safe, right? I made sure I screen shot his details and message them to a friend to let her know if I go missing, This is who to hunt down).

So, 9:30am the next morning I google the directions and set off on my ten minute walk to meet him, After half an hour of walking in 35 degree heat and nearing 10am I still haven’t found this place, so I stop and ask for directions but no one speaks English… I show my google map to a van that pulls over on this highway heading to nowhere (I was using the standard apple app and not the real google app that lets you download offline, rookie error, the blue dot wasn’t moving), This van is a truck version of a tuk tuk so I eagerly jump in and head 15 minutes back in the direction I just came from (with what felt like a hundred stops to pick up locals along the way).

I turn up to the café about 30 minutes late and can’t see anyone sitting outside so head inside (Still no one, maybe he left?) and turn the corner to find AB (American boy) still sitting there, I apologise profusely at my lack of direction (which is usually really good, I must be flustered by the heat… I swear) and probably look like a hot mess but he doesn’t seem to mind… He’s from the South, so I’m thinking, He must have good manners or an awesome poker face.

We chat for about 20 minutes and head off on the bike to the Buddha Park which is around 25km out of the city, riding down back roads through small villages and stopping in remote temples that never see tourists, all while sitting on the back of this bike with my arms wrapped around this sexy American boy and relaying our life stories through our open faced helmets is seriously setting the tone to be my favourite date ever.

There were a few little things AB did that made me swoon a little bit on the inside (He does not know this)… When we stopped at the first remote temple we left the bike in the HOT sun while we were walking around taking pics and he walked off to go and move it into the shade so my legs wouldn’t get burnt when I hopped back on (I had denim shorts on)… When I saw him do this I joked with him, thinking he was taking off and leaving me there in the middle of nowhere.

At the next temple there was a local man that came out and kept trying to grab at me and I could see AB noticed from a distance and came back over to keep an eye on this guy and make sure I was safe.

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When you rise up aligned with your values, even if it means walking alone, it creates space for the universe to deliver the infinite possibilities into your welcoming arms ✨💜🌎 Where are you holding back from fear of judgement?

A post shared by Dana Brown | Australia (@wildheartedworld) on Aug 11, 2017 at 4:25pm PDT

This is one of the pictures I took at those temples on this date

We stopped for lunch and chatted some more before continuing back on to the Buddha Park, which by the way is a must see for how disappointing it is… It has got to be the most random bunch of statues, haphazardly placed in a small field with this huge pumpkin in the middle that you can climb up through by entering the demon’s mouth… I believe the three layers are supposed to represent hell, earth and heaven (Ironically similar to my dating life). Anyway, I can get claustrophobic so I disclosed this to AB and he was a gentleman and went in front of me and kept checking if I was okay.

After the riveting half an hour at the Buddha Park (It seriously took twice as long to get there but was pretty funny) we took off back to Vientiane. Along the way we went past a country club and you could sense the excitement from AB. We had spoken over lunch about how much he loved golf and how much I hated it, so I suggested we turn the bike around and see if we can get in so he can teach me how to play (Supposedly I must have had a bad teacher previously if I wasn’t a fan). In we go, The security says no until AB makes a golf swinging action and they let us through, AB goes in to find out if we can play and he comes back very excited announcing that it is game on… Until I go in and have us denied because I am wearing denim and my shorts are too short for the course… Oops, Sorry AB, Game over!

So, What to do??? We head back to the city to drop off the bike, pick up AB’s luggage (because he was changing his hotel that day) and head over to my hotel to go swimming and have a couple of cheeky beers in the pool before he finds a new place to stay.

After a few beers, we decide to head out for drinks and dinner but first, AB needs to go find a new place to stay, I suggest he could stay with me (Was that his plan all along?) seeing as I have to fly out at 6am, as long as he keeps it PG 😉

AB decides he will stay and we both get ready and head out to watch the sunset over a few drinks (Including a hand wound lotto machine that dispenses local rum shots in different flavours to match the coloured balls that come out) before dinner. AB finds out that I LOVE espresso martinis, so proceeds to spend the next half an hour googling bars in Vientiane that make them… Success, he finds one, so we head there. A couple more drinks there and we decide its time to head home, but on the way we pass a place called Wind West that we saw earlier (It was done up like a ranch so we’re pretty sure it was supposed to be called Wild West but got lost in translation), I am pretty tipsy by this point and decide we HAVE to go in!!! We didn’t last long, It was terrible Laotian karaoke.

Fast forward a few hours and it’s time for me to get up and fly to Bali, say good bye to AB and hope that I will run back into him in a couple of weeks when we will both be in Cambodia, Fingers crossed it will be a case of same place, same time again … I had the best day and am pro Tinder at this point after my one experiment with AB for this blog.

The next couple of weeks includes some Facetime and messaging with AB while I am in Bali and Vietnam but it is not looking like we will be in the same place at the same time (I am on assignment and have limited time in each place).

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What does freedom mean to you? Tell me, I really want to know everyone's perspective. For me it's having the time and money to be able to do what I want, where I want and only have to answer to myself (or loved ones) ✨💜🌎 • 📸 @ablondeandherpassport

A post shared by Dana Brown | Australia (@wildheartedworld) on Aug 22, 2017 at 4:28am PDT

Here I am, Loving life in Bali and living my dream

Because we had been messaging I had attached myself to the idea that it would be super romantic and fun if he came to meet me in Siem Reap where I had a couple of free days before I went to Singapore and him to Japan.

He was heading back to Phnom Penh which is only a few hours away and I was certain he was joking and actually coming to surprise me in Siem Reap… So much so that I put my detective hat on and went onto Tinder and it showed he was 2km away. OMG, I was so excited, It was going to be this cinematic re connection (I’m sure you’ve caught on to my dramatic tendencies). So I message him to find out where he is and he says Phnom Penh… Say what? But Tinder said 2km, I log back in and it says 233km… Oh no, Why did it do that? I was really looking forward to seeing him but alas, Not to be!!!

So, I guess you’re all hoping for a happy ending??? A psychic said I was going to meet an American boy while I was travelling and here I am acting like he is the only American boy in the world.

I can’t give you a happy ending but what I can offer up is what I took away from this experience.

What is my lesson in this?

I will continue to wear my heart on my sleeve and dive all in because I love, love. I love the excitement, the unknown and putting everything out there because it means I am being authentic… this is me and you can love or hate me.

What is not effective for me is hanging on to this need for control, It’s time to enjoy those moments and allow the universe to shape whatever is supposed to happen. Yes, I get to choose what I want and step up but I also get to let go, flow, allow and let myself receive.

This was a huge reminder to get out there and have fun. It had been a while (A loooong while) since I dated and this being such a fun date, reminded me of how many amazing guys there are out there and that I have so much fun ahead of me, playing between my feminine and masculine (I spend a lot of my time in my masculine since I am so used to taking charge and doing whatever needs to be done to get what I want… Being in my feminine is a whole different area I get to work on too) and looking out for that one with warrior energy that rises up to my standards and can hold space for this powerful woman.

 

I would love to hear your thoughts on my article and if you have any success stories or lessons learnt from Tinder, Please pop them in the comments below.

Love,

Dana x

 

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Your energy flows to the space you choose to direct it, LOVE will forever win ✨💜🌎

A post shared by Dana Brown | Australia (@wildheartedworld) on Jul 27, 2017 at 1:34am PDT

Love will always win x

Related

12 Comments

« Why travel is AMAZING for facing off with your bullshit
What is a trust tour? »

Comments

  1. krista says

    September 14, 2017 at 5:55 am

    omg I love you writing style, you have such a personality and tone in your voice!! and your photos are STUNNING!!!!

    Reply
    • Dana Brown says

      September 14, 2017 at 7:29 am

      Krista, Thank you so much!!! You literally made my morning girl xx

      Reply
  2. Ciara says

    September 14, 2017 at 7:03 am

    Love, LOVE your positive, upbeat, super romantic outlook! I’m 35 and legit panicking. I want someone who enjoys travel too, who wants to explore with me. Someone with an open mind willing to see the world. I’d love the house and baby thing but a part of me is reluctant to give up my travel bug. I’m just so worried I won’t find that love I long for.

    Reply
    • Dana Brown says

      September 14, 2017 at 7:38 am

      Ciara, You are the sweetest and I’m so glad I got to connect with you over IG! I totally get you girl, Its so easy to slip into that victim consciousness of worrying that it won’t happen and looking at what hasn’t worked but I truly believe that everything and everyone is placed in front of us, for us to learn from. The more you focus on what is going really well and the good in other people (even if there is shit you hate, we are all human), the more you attract that back to you. You’ve already got that great love you long for, It’s you babe… Now you get to have fun and see who else adds to it… I am in exactly the same boat as you and it’s taken me so long to realise that. Love ya x

      Reply
  3. Ana says

    September 14, 2017 at 10:20 am

    Loved the whole text! I haven’t really had luck with guys so I downloaded the app. So I’ve met one guy and we’ve been taking since June. Let’s see how it goes 😀

    Reply
    • Dana Brown says

      September 14, 2017 at 4:59 pm

      Ana, I am so glad you loved my work!!! Oooh, You’ll have to tell me more about this guy???

      Reply
  4. Belinda van Tholen says

    September 14, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    I loved reading this article Dana! You write beautifully and I was so intrigued to find out how your AB and you ended up. You’re amazing and I’m loving watching you flourish in your blogging ability and personal growth. Your recent photos? Stunning! Keep kicking butt girl x

    Reply
    • Dana Brown says

      September 14, 2017 at 5:00 pm

      Bel, Thank you so much!!! You are so sweet and I really appreciate it xx

      Reply
  5. Leny says

    September 14, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    Dana, I just love this article and how you tell stories!!! I just couldn’t stop reading!
    and a few lines reminded me of the conversation we had in the car on our way to Old Man’s.
    And yep, I can confirm that if finding that special someone is hard when you travel the world, so is making the relationship last… and I’m not even travelling full time! :/
    anyway, I think I should make up a name for articles as good as that one: I shall call it a BLANGER! ^^

    Reply
    • Dana Brown says

      September 15, 2017 at 11:37 am

      Leny, Thank you so much lovely! You need to trademark BLANGER, I love it!!! Thanks for the advice, You are so on it xx

      Reply
  6. Veronica says

    September 17, 2017 at 3:42 am

    I was more than happy to search out this web-site.I wanted to thanks on your time for this glorious learn!! I definitely having fun with every little little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.

    Reply
    • Dana Brown says

      September 17, 2017 at 4:23 pm

      Hi Veronica, So glad you liked it and Thank You for bookmarking it. There is a subscribe section on the home page so you can be notified of new posts.

      Reply

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Welcome to Wild Hearted World! My platform to inspire travel, love, light and conscious change.

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From mid November on is one of my favourite times to be in America, especially here in San Francisco. The trees are up, lights are twinkling, skates are on and you can feel all the magic of the festive season upon us.⁣
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Have you ever had Christmas in the US of A?⁣
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@onlyinsf #AlwaysSF @VisitCalifornia #dreambig 📸 @postcardsfrompeta
Instagram post 2182248274176802680_4531509422 Welcome to San Francisco 🇺🇸 Where I’ve spent the past week exploring the city and the Northern part of California with @visitcalifornia @united & @karryontravel⁣⁣
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You know me for mainly travelling solo, but this week was a treat (and occasionally a challenge) travelling and collaborating with the A Team as part of Australia’s Top 8 Travel Agent Influencers. ⁣⁣
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If you missed the stories, check out the California highlight in my bio. ⁣⁣
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Share some love with the rest of my team too, each and every one of them are extremely talented and our creative styles show off California from different perspectives.⁣⁣
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@jezdrake⁣⁣
@melbellbednall⁣⁣
@thiswildtime⁣⁣
@travel.with.tess⁣⁣
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@thediaryofadreammaker⁣⁣
@postcardsfrompeta⁣⁣
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Have you been following my journey? What do you think of what we got up to?⁣
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Instagram post 2191722527200805438_4531509422 California is NOT only Hollywood & Beaches! ⁣
⁣
It’s one of the most diverse places on the planet. Hit the link in my bio to find out why⁣
⁣
I’m breaking down the top 11 reasons why you need to Visit California⁣
⁣
@visitcalifornia @united @karryontravel @shastacascade #dreambig⁣
⁣
📸 @thiswildtime
Instagram post 2188109242509460148_4531509422 Have you seen this rainbow crossing?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
You’ll find it in The Castro District, San Francisco. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
The Castro was one of the first gay neighbourhoods in the U.S and is still one of the most prominent LGBT areas in the world. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
As a human (& straight woman) I feel it’s important to recognise, hold space and support our LGBTQIA 🏳️‍🌈 community in having the same rights, inclusions and safety as we have⁣. ⁣
⁣
One of the easiest ways we can do this is by voicing our support and having open conversations. ⁣
⁣⁣
ONE HEART, ONE WAY 💛✨⁣
⁣
@visitcalifornia #dreambig⁣
@onlyinsf #alwayssf⁣
⁣
📸 @thiswildtime
Instagram post 2185894535560016456_4531509422 Waking up at 4am to drive an hour to meet the sun and breathe in these California views are what makes me feel alive⁣
⁣
It also could have something to do with my inappropriate dress choice for freezing conditions... but hey, you have to dream big... right?⁣
⁣
@visitcalifornia #dreambig
Instagram post 2185190492801997833_4531509422 Accurate depiction of how I feel about being in northern California in fall 🍁 ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
If the leaves don’t it do for you, a behind the scenes tasting tour @sierranevada brewing company will 🍻 ⁣⁣
⁣
@visitcalifornia #dreambig⁣
⁣
📸 @thediaryofadreammaker⁣
⁣⁣
Instagram post 2183766128235824850_4531509422 It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas 🎄 (sing that aloud) which whether you celebrate it or not, is a reminder to turn up the fun & give gratitude for all that you have⁣
⁣
From mid November on is one of my favourite times to be in America, especially here in San Francisco. The trees are up, lights are twinkling, skates are on and you can feel all the magic of the festive season upon us.⁣
⁣
Have you ever had Christmas in the US of A?⁣
⁣
@onlyinsf #AlwaysSF @VisitCalifornia #dreambig 📸 @postcardsfrompeta
Instagram post 2182248274176802680_4531509422 Welcome to San Francisco 🇺🇸 Where I’ve spent the past week exploring the city and the Northern part of California with @visitcalifornia @united & @karryontravel⁣⁣
⁣⁣
You know me for mainly travelling solo, but this week was a treat (and occasionally a challenge) travelling and collaborating with the A Team as part of Australia’s Top 8 Travel Agent Influencers. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
If you missed the stories, check out the California highlight in my bio. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Share some love with the rest of my team too, each and every one of them are extremely talented and our creative styles show off California from different perspectives.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
@jezdrake⁣⁣
@melbellbednall⁣⁣
@thiswildtime⁣⁣
@travel.with.tess⁣⁣
@claiirebella⁣⁣
@charliebolter⁣⁣
@thediaryofadreammaker⁣⁣
@postcardsfrompeta⁣⁣
@kulturekate⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Have you been following my journey? What do you think of what we got up to?⁣
⁣
#DreamBig #AlwaysSF 📸 @thiswildtime
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